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Go First, Wet Lifejackets Suck!

Muskoka watersports veterans have this down to a fine art

You know that moment, right? You're all psyched to hit the Muskoka waters, ski, tube, wakeboard – whatever your water-loving heart desires. You're pumped, ready, and then... you're handed a lifejacket that's colder than a polar bear's toenails and damper than a muskrat's den. Ah, the infamous wet lifejacket. A Muskoka initiation of sorts. It's the kind of cold, clammy greeting that could turn the sunniest summer day into a winter chill.

And that's when you get it. The old-timers, the Muskoka watersports veterans – they've got it figured out. They've mastered the art of always going first. Why? Because wet lifejackets suck! There's nothing that bursts the fun bubble faster than shimmying into a lifejacket that feels like it was just fished out of the lake.

Nobody dry wants to wear a wet lifejacket - Pure MuskokaIf there's a dry lifejacket in the mix, you seize the opportunity, like a raccoon getting into a well-stocked trash bin. Otherwise you’ll need to endure the chilly embrace that gives you goosebumps in all the wrong places.

Going first - be it wake surfing, waterskiing, or tubing - isn't just about dodging the soggy hand-me-down lifejacket. It's the thrill of carving the first path on the glassy water, feeling the energy of the boat at its peak, and basking in the beauty of Muskoka without the spectre of a clammy lifejacket clouding your experience.

Now, you might be thinking, "This all sounds great, but how do I make sure I'm the first one in line?" Well, who better to guide us than the seasoned pros themselves? The folks who've been on these waters since they were knee-high to a duck. Muskoka watersports veterans have this system down to a fine art, a science even.

One local legend claims he hasn't donned a wet lifejacket in over 15 years. "It's all about experience and strategy," he winks. “I’ve been playing this game since I was knee-high to a duck. It's all about the strategy, my friends. If you can out-think, out-plan, and out-early the competition, you're golden.”

So, what's the secret? Be quick, be eager, and whenever possible, always go first. It's a mantra that's been passed down through generations. And remember, the key to claiming that dry lifejacket isn't just about speed, it's about anticipation and a good old dose of Muskoka cunning!

The Downside of Going Second (or Last)

Ahh, the wet lifejacket may not be as terrible as we’re making it out to be but it does it put a damper on things! It's like eating a sundae with a soggy cone or dancing in wet socks - it's just not quite right. The chill makes you gasp, the dampness sticks to your skin, and before you've even started, your exhilarating ride has a wet blanket thrown over it (quite literally!).

This lifejacket could be yours, If you're going second - Pure MuskokaIt's not just about the discomfort, either. You're up there, shivering in your soaked lifejacket, and suddenly the smooth lake doesn't look as inviting, and the boat doesn't feel as exhilarating. It's a domino effect, my friends, and it all starts with that sodden lifejacket.

There's something about this 'dry lifejacket' tradition that captures the essence of Muskoka perfectly. It's a blend of respect for the comfort of others, an unspoken understanding of the joys good-natured competition. It's a part of the Muskoka spirit.

Now, it's not written down anywhere, there's no handbook or guide. It's just one of those things that you pick up along the way. But like all traditions, it needs to be preserved, respected, and passed on.

Pro Tip: If by chance you’ve been out-smarted or out-muscled for the dry lifejacket. There is one move that can make putting on the wet lifejacket experience slightly less miserable. Jump in the water and put it on in the water. It’s much easier to endure. It’s like ripping off the bandaid quick.So, let's keep it going, folks. Let's honour the tradition, uphold the spirit, and keep the dry lifejacket culture alive and well in Muskoka. After all, it's not just a place – it's a feeling. And that feeling is best experienced in a dry lifejacket!

And to those who'll experience it for the first time - welcome to the club. Trust us, once you've tasted the sweet victory of a dry lifejacket, there's no going back. It's a Muskoka thing. It's a feeling.

Stay dry, folks!

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